***If you put something in writing, it is meant to last***
That is why if you want to start a new lifestyle, change mental patterns or simply go *healthy* mind and body, a powerful tool is to make a contract with yourself and set the goals you want to achieve, with love and embracing flexibility, of course =)
My goals are definitely physical but also mental, since you need a healthy mind to build a healthy body.
My story with weight imbalances dates back to childhood, where I was a fat kid, bullied at school and with no true friends at all. This created darkness and insecurity about my body, showing it in public, and the necessity for others to "approve" of me. Simply put it like this, I had no self esteem and an alarming need for social recognition. As calm as I was, I conducted all the frustration in learning as much as possible, started getting top marks and eventually became the best in class, all this on behalf of a shitty lifestyle of eating bad, not exercising at all and being afraid of making friends, trying to please everyone but myself. At that time, my 12 year old self was 104 kg.
At middle school, the accumulated anger translated into loosing 33 kg rapidly, unwilling to be bullied any more, and unfortunately I was surrounded by toxic companies who passed me their obsession for extreme skinny. No surprises fell into anorexia and body distortion disease that today still hunt me. I was unable to have normal friendship relations because of the need to please everyone, and eventhough pretty successful with boys, my -at that time embarrassing- 67kg stopped me from believing that I could be as desirable as my 50 kg girlfriends.
Due to my mother insistency I changed school, where I found new people and excelled at academics, but toxic social relations are difficult to cut from one day to another, so I was still influenced by the previous circle, growing anxiety inside me, as well as depression, which led to gaining all the way back in a timeframe of two years. I even had to quit university and completely disconnect from social networking. It seamed as I had disappeared, loosing one of the most magical year of my life, 18.
Distance and isolation worked for a start, but I soon realized I needed an action plan to heal completely.
A *magical* summer in Sweden, surrounded by the most amazing, loving and caring people, made me believe again in friendship and love. I found hope and the support to radically cut all the toxic people of my life and start reshaping mental models and diet habits.
***You are what you want to be***
Therefore I, Amelie Pomeline pledge to:
-eat clean and learn about the newest healthy eating developments, logging about it in this blog.
-listen to my body and give it what it needs, no matter if it is a piece of chocolate cake or ginger tea because the body always knows better than any diet.
-exercise at least 30 minutes every day.
-develop daily positive affirmations and mantras.
-take time to bound with friends, no matter the continent they are living in.
-invest quality time doing things I adore, like painting and reading about art.
-learn to love myself unconditionally.
signed: Bilbao, may the 13th
Amelie Pomeline
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